


Dorm Rooms

by starkfrosts



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-01-31 20:45:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18599089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkfrosts/pseuds/starkfrosts
Summary: For Daphne, #8 "Don't leave me." StrangeFrost





	1. "don't leave me."

**Author's Note:**

> For Daphne, #8 "Don't leave me." StrangeFrost

Loki stood in front of his mirror, preparing for his one last final date with Stephen. How would he react once it's over? He's been thinking about their breakup, but he's not the one to accept a failure in a relationship he had thought would last. How cheesy right? How naive too, coming from him. 

 

He shook his head at the idea of telling his future kids or possible nieces and/or nephews from either Hela or Thor about heartbreak and the what if's if he and Stephen had lasted, or if they do get back together, which at this point was not in Loki's mind. They had fallen out of love, or maybe he had. The thought of getting back together is just out of the picture. It would be too unrealistic.

 

The doorbell rang through his and his siblings' apartment. He knew it would only be Stephen, Thor knocked on his door, confirming it, preparing for his own date that's not until an hour.

 

"Don't wait up," Loki mentioned before closing the door behind him and his boyfriend. If they were to breakup, might as well use that word for as long as he could.

 

The trip to the restaurant wasn't awkward, but it wasn't comfortable either. They've always been quiet in car rides, hence silence was familiar for the two. However, the thoughts that ran through their minds are what ruined the atmosphere, at least for Loki.

 

Their actions were similar from their past dates, maybe even more endearing that night which made Loki sick to the stomach.

 

_Just break up with me_ ,  he had thought, as Stephen's hand crept behind his back, walking in the restaurant .

 

Stephen sits Loki down in front of him. The surroundings were all too painful to even look at. Dim lights, near the door,  _quiet_.

 

The two looked down at their menus, but even if their eyes focused on the writings, their minds wandered off on how to break the news.

 

"Shall we address the elephant in the room?"

 

"Huh?" Stephen followed Loki's actions with putting the menu down.

 

"I know we're not a vocal couple and we like silence but  _this_   silence is killing me a little."

 

"I'm sorry," Stephen started. 

 

Loki only sneered, "Don't be."

 

"I know change can be a good thing and that it helps us grow but this change, it would only deteriorate us as individuals and I don't want to be the reason for your misery in your first year."

 

Pause. Silence. An _uncomfortable_ silence .

 

"Are you leaving me?" he asked looking from the side to Stephen's eyes.

 

"I don't want to."

 

It hurt hearing that. Wanting something conflicting with what must happen. They've talked about this. That if ever, they think that their relationship isn't beneficial to both anymore, they'd end it no matter how long they've been together.

 

"We just need a time off from each other."

 

"Breakup," Loki corrected.

 

Softly, Stephen nodded his head, looking back down, not at the menu, but it might as well look like that.

 

He's accepted it. Truly he has. But hearing it live now, in front of the person he thought he'd spend the eternity with, maybe he wasn't so sure he accepted it afterall.

 

"Okay," was the first word that came out of Loki after a few minutes of silence.

 

"Okay?"

 

He nodded, breathing out a heavy burden heart, "Now I think it'd be best if you'd leave me alone for the night."

 

"Loki, you know I can-"

 

"Please," he interrupted , _don't leave me._

 

"Go,"  _before I change my mind._

 

"Now,"  _before I break down._

 

Hesitantly, Stephen pulled out his chair, walking towards Loki, kissing the top of his head, whispering a soft, "I love you," one last time. 

 

Until there he was. Loki. Sitting alone in a dim restaurant, tears forming, but he has to stop them from falling. He can't cry.

 

Taking out his phone, he noticed how he was shaking evidently. He texted Bruce, hoping for an answer. Hoping for a shoulder to cry on. 

 

Even though he had been aware, know the outcome of the date, physically prepared himself, they were all no help, as his emotions rush down.

 

_I love you too_ , he had wished to tell him before he was out of sight. 

 


	2. "have you guys never murdered?"

Loki sat down with Thor and the others once his lecture was done. While speaking to Bruce about their English class, someone called behind him, making him roll his eyes, not bothering to turn to see who had said it. Anyone who dares say his name wrong has always been not worth his energy, but he had the need to correct whoever owned the voice.

"It's _low-key_ ," he corrected.

"You know for someone I can control the grades of, you're not very nice."

Loki was stunned to see her. Well, for starters she was beautiful, but what stunned Loki was the fact that it was his Psychology professor's teacher assistant. He wasn't exactly one to say something back to one that could be in control of his grades, but he decided on it anyway.

"Personal issues shouldn't come in the way of how I do in that class," Loki spat, "Also you won't know if it's my paper you're marking."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes, defeated, since Loki was right. She rested her bag beside him and sat on the table, her legs dangling just beside the freshman. Frustration coming out of her, but not getting to the best of her.

"Do you mind?"

She only shrugged.

"That's uh, that's Val," Thor introduced, Bruce shaking her hand in the process.

"Bruce."

"I know," Bruce raised an eyebrow at Val's remark, "Thor here, doesn't exactly shut up about you."

"Oh really?" he smirked, turning to Thor, who was furiously blushing that he really hasn't stopped talking about Bruce ever since he met Val. If asked, maybe Val would even know the basic facts about Bruce, like his family and birthday, despite never meeting until today. "Maybe I'd love to hear the stories."

"Shoot me your number and I'll tell you all about it."

"Isn't your name _Brunnhilde_?" Loki interrupted, which only sent shudders to the teacher's assistant. 

"I prefer Val," she insisted, picking fries from Thor's plate who sat across from Loki.

"Why?"

"Just a nickname I got by in high school and it stuck, Brunnhilde isn't exactly that pretty of a name when you're tackling football guys."

"Tackling football guys?" Bruce repeated.

Val sneered, "I was a tackler in high school for football, how did you think Thor and I met?"

"He just said orientation."

It was true. They did met at the orientation, but only because Val and Thor had so much in common and Val was part of the club where they welcome freshmen students, well until this year at least. It would only make sense for them to have met through that since Val can tell stories about football and everything else. Thor explained how they properly met first day and how Val started showing him around. While the couple was talking, Val turned to Loki, asking him a question, you wouldn't exactly ask a person you just met in the flesh that same day.

"Anyway, you free tonight?"

Loki kicked Thor under the table, which did not go unnoticed from Val. He sends a stare at Thor, who only shoots a stare back, shrugging. Bruce elbowed Thor, hence why he spoke for them, "To where exactly?"

"The bar? Didn't you just went through a breakup?"

"Excuse me?"

"James wasn't exactly quiet about it either."

Val waited for Loki's answer, who tried to avoid her glance, just trying to get Thor to get him out of this one. It was awkward, not just that she was his teacher's assistant but the fact that Thor was trying "Relax, I won't kill you."

Everyone's eyes landed on Valkyrie, still munching on Thor's fries.

"If I wanted to kill him, I wouldn't have announced that we'll hang out tonight. Have you guys never murdered?"

"Have you?" Bruce asked.

The only answer that they received from her was a smirk, "So, _low-key_ ," she elongated his name, annoying the curly haired once more, "you free or not?"

Loki glanced at his watch,  _please save me away from here_. It read 12:30pm, _good enough_. He looked at Bruce, sending him a signal to start cleaning up, and before he could leave the table completely, he quickly mumbled, "I'll be in our apartment," referring to his and Thor's, and left without uttering another word.

"I'll see you tonight," Bruce whispered to Thor, finished with his meal, "Give my number to Val will ya?"

Thor nodded, receiving a kiss on his cheek, and off his boyfriend to trail behind Loki. Val waved at Bruce, and once they were clear of everyone, she let out a chuckle at Loki's actions,

"Is he always like that?"

"Loki?"

"Yeah."

"He's not usually provoked, per se."

"I think it's because he's one of the grandmaster's psychology students."

"The grandmaster?" Thor asked, before completely waving it off, "I said make friends not taunt him that you'll murder him."

"Will you _please_ chill?" she laughed, "Carol would be our ride, I'm not gonna make reckless decisions or actions, I'll just make him drink, talk to me, you know the casuals. He'll be fine, he can handle his alcohol right?"

Thor nodded, "But, if he dies-"

"You can send me to jail."

Val got the final word, grabbing the rest of the fries and throwing away the container herself, making her way to her next class. Thor was unsure of Val at first, but thinking about it, maybe this wouldn't be too bad. After all, Val was the only one after Stephen that made Loki that frustrated.


	3. "odin terrifies me."

Once thor invited everyone to the diner, it has been dead silent from the field to the parking lot with the couple. Thor knew exactly why but he choose not to explore on it, it shouldn't be their problem their friends are fighting and that Bucky can't stand the sight of Sam without being reminded of Steve.

The two stayed in the car waiting for one person to say something. No one dared to until Loki knocked on Bruce's window, coming out of Stephen's car. Bruce rolled his windows down and Loki mumbled a quick _hurry up_ , before walking in, no problem with Stephen and Bucky.

Thor sighed, "I'm sorry it was impulsive, I know. I just- I want us all to be in the diner and I know it's not ideal to have all of us nor would it be like the old times-"

"I don't care, Thor," Bruce interrupted, turning towards Thor, "Hela said you got something to ask me and it's been killing since this morning."

Silence.

"Oh shit," Thor muttered, "I totally forgot, it's nothing bad I swear!"

"Well talk, before all my anxiety kills me!"

"Hela, Loki and I are going to Asgard for reading week, and I was wondering, if you wouldn't mind..."

"Wouldn't mind what?"

"Coming with? Meet my father?"

Bruce stared at Thor, shocked maybe an understatement.

"Meet your father?" the younger one repeated, "Thor, I can't just _meet_ your father!"

"Why not? We've been dating for over a year, we're young but what else is the point of dating if you can't see us marrying."

 _Marriage_. Bruce liked that idea. Meeting Thor's father? Not at all. When they were kids, Loki would invite Bruce to their house to play. Frigga was amazing, a nice woman and a mother, she passed away not too far from when they settled in New York. But Odin. Odin _terrified_  Bruce.

"He's not that terrifying," Thor reassured, making Bruce realize he had said his boyfriend's father terrified him out loud. "Please come with, you did say you've always wanted to visit Asgard, might as well be the first."

Bruce, although with much hesitation, finally nodded, "If your father kills me, you'd have to explain to your future children that your ex boyfriend died because of their grandpa."

"I wouldn't have children without you."

The younger one gave a smile, giving a peck to Thor, opening his door, finally walking in the diner. The whole talk made Thor wonder. How did he came up with all those words that terrified him? Marriage? Children? All too soon maybe, but somehow he made sense, what would be the purpose of dating if not ending up in marriage. It's like saying going to college without any plans of pursuing a career in that field. Everything would lead to something, and that something will hopefully lead to him and Bruce's marriage. They are still young, that shouldn't be in their minds.

Walking in the diner, Thor pulled Bruce to the side one more, "Angie is here and she said Peggy was as well, so I thought might as well include Carol and Val."

"That's fine, Thor," Bruce smiled, before getting pulled back in again.

"Sam will be here too, you know that right?" Thor asked, "And Bucky?"

"I'd love to see Bucky try to stab someone, he's too soft for that."

Thor finally nodded, letting go of Bruce's arm and following behind him. Bruce scooted over beside Loki, pushing him to the end of the bench, leaving one more person beside Thor, which most likely would be Sam, if across from them sat Bucky and Stephen. Far enough, Thor thought, Bucky wouldn't be able to murder him. Unless he's some master of knives and assassination.

Sam and Scott arrived not too long after, Val and Carol following them behind. It seemed that Loki's and Val hangout went great when Val decided to grab a chair closer to Loki, and the two were sharing laughs, a sense of approval coming off Stephen instead of jealousy. Maybe this won't be too bad. That is until Bucky called Peggy, despite never having to meet, or maybe they have.

"You two know each other?" Bruce asked Bucky, whose eyes shifted from Peggy and to Sam.

"Do you know where he is?"

"Bucky..."

"Great, I love how you all know," was his last words before walking out of the diner, followed by Stephen sharply, looking at the rest of the group with reassuring face that maybe they won't be back, but if they do, it would be fine. Loki gave him a nod, and it was silent in the booth until Angie came to ask for their orders, and then silence.

"So," Loki finally started, "You know Steve?"

"Yeah," Peggy answered, "Sam, Steve, and I were all friends from back when I kept coming back and forth to Britain and here.

"I met Bucky from occasional video calls with Steve, we've been sort of friends since I guess, but of course ever since Steve left, I haven't been in contact with Bucky."

"And you know where Steve is?" Bruce asked.

Peggy slowly nodded, "Sam and I both do."

"Wait a minute," Thor interrupted, "Didn't you said you only knew his whereabouts?"

"The whereabouts because I've never been there but I know the address," Sam admitted, Scott turning to him, shocked by the news as well.

Angie came back putting the meals in front of them, "Hey, Ange, what time would you be off?" Peggy asked.

"In 30 minutes?" she answered, looking at the clock above the kitchen, "Why?"

"Nothing," Peggy smiled at her, beaming.

"Okay, well enjoy your meals."

It was quiet with a couple of small talks. One from Val, Carol and Loki, filling them in about Bucky and Steve. Sam and Scott discoursing about the newly found information, and Bruce and Thor quietly feeding each other, despite not making the effort of actually putting the food inside each other's mouths. While Peggy, she was looking around for Bucky and Stephen, until Bruce told her to give it up, saying that if they were going to come back, they would've done so already. He noticed how Stephen's car was gone, so they thought that Bucky was still sensitive about the topic of Steve. Who wouldn't be anyway? Dated for almost 6 years and left without another word? What kind of sick person.

Angie finished her shift, finally giving Peggy the company that she was needing the moment they all stopped talking about Steve and Bucky.

"So," Scott started, trying to break off the awkward silence that has been around ever since Bucky left angrily, Stephen trailing behind him, "Y'all are dating or something?" referring to Peggy and Angie.

Thor kicked Scott under the chair, not too hard but definitely not soft either.

"Um," Peggy smiled, "No."

"Cute accent," Scott tried once more, "Where'd you get it?"

And so Peggy told him. One thing lead to another, and the booth isn't as awkward as it was before. Times where it would lead to sometimes Steve being the topic, but will move on immediately. The group shared laughs, stories, having the time of their lives. Although they were busy, talking and getting to know each other, it didn't go unnoticed that Sam had left the booth 10 minutes ago, calling Scott to leave immediately, and handing Loki a piece of paper.


	4. "i thought you loved me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Ian, #7 "I thought you loved me." SamScott

After the party, Sam and Scott headed home, finally off from their matching pineapple costumes, which also included their newly adopted dog.

While fluffing the pillows and making their bed, Scott's mind was filled from Sam's text four days ago. Even if Scott hadn't noticed that he had stopped helping make the bed, or that his eyes aren't moving but plain just staring ahead. Sam snapped his thoughts and back to existence.

"You okay?"

Scott nodded, lying, which Sam detected right away. He gave Scott a look, making him spill what he wanted to ask ever since receiving the text.

"Are we ever going to talk about _it_?"

"Hmm?" Sam hummed, not exactly pinpointing what Scott had meant. His thoughts were broaden from: as little as drinking orange juice straight out of the bottle or as big as the text from four days ago.

"Sam, don't act like that wasn't serious."

He finally pinpoint the issue when Scott added,

"We said that the first thing in this relationship."

"The cup was too far to reach, and what's the difference if we kiss anyway?"

"What?"

"What?" Sam repeated.

"I was talking about the text- Wait have you been drinking orange juice straight out of the bottle again?"

Sam grinned.

"That's an issue for another day," Scott reminded, "Be serious."

Sam sat down, now his eyes focused on the bed, thinking of what to say, "I know it's a big deal."

Scott joined him softly on the other side, "So?"

Still maintaining to not look at Scott's eyes, Sam played with his fingers, "What do you want me to say, Scott? That I regret saying it? That I didn't mean it?"

"Well," Scott breathed, "Do you?"

Sam turned to Scott, an obvious distraught visible on his face, "Fuck Scott, are you serious?"

With their eyes meeting, the talk had gone from casual to a more intimate. Their voices low, even if they knew that they were close to fighting. Though they hadn't been in that position (not that they have ever imagined), the discourse had became more terrifying to approach.

"Sam, answer the question."

He was quiet. Awfully quiet that lead Scott's heart to break. Say something, anything, he begged. For the mean time he was quiet, Scott's mind had fired millions of thoughts and questions, making up scenarios of what would happen to them once Sam admits.

Yet, with all of those thoughts, the words that came out of Sam's mouth still broke Scott's heart even more.

"I did regret saying it."

A soft, almost inaudible 'oh' escaped Scott's barely opened mouth.

"Wait," Sam tried, realizing what he had said, "Let me explain."

Scott waved his hand, turning away from Sam. If he listened to more words the older had to say, he knew his heart would break even more. He knew that he can't be in that position without looking weak. Without sparing tears.

"You don't have to," he mumbled.

"Scott."

Something in Sam's voice begged for him. Yet, Scott's mind was too blinded by the amount of heartaches he just experienced since the very beginning of the talk.

 _I thought you loved me,_ Scott thought, _I thought I was able to finally admit that I love you too._

He wished he had said that. Instead what came out of his mouth were pure bullshit and will forever make him regret ever bringing the topic up.

"Let's sleep."

Sam was about to say something, but Scott just lie down, not facing him. He curled up to himself, quiet tears making it's way to the pillow he didn't even get to fluff. Sam lied down next to him, facing his back and waiting for him to turn. Soon enough, the dog jumped up to the bed, walking in circles before finally curling up to himself in between the couple.

Sam turned to the ceiling, his hand holding his phone. Scott, still facing the wall to the side, clutched his phone as well.

The night progressed slowly, even though the events earlier made them the happiest couple around, earning laughs that the trio dressed up as pineapples, the night still turned to be the worst night so far in their relationship. That night marks the very first time Sam and Scott ever discoursed about something serious. Yet, their instinct to handle the situation didn't change from their petty fights. Immaturity still getting to the best of the two.

With the sun slowly reaching rise up from the window, both males fail to close their eyes or even sleep, mouths never letting the words they wanted to say come out. Sam felt Scott get up, and that was it.


	5. "i don't need you anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Shay, #8 "I don't need you anymore." SteveBucky

After a long awaited day, Bucky had just gotten back from university to his and-- well just his now. He got used to saying, "hey Stevie!" everyday after getting back, knowing that Steve would've been done his shift.

Five years. Almost even six. Best friends and boyfriends. All gone 2 weeks prior to his second year of university. And Bucky never got a reason why. It was almost their reading week, a week designated for students to rest after or to some, before midterms. Just 2 more days. This meant it's only been 3 months since Steve had left to Bucky.

Bucky slumped face first on the couch, his phone on his hands. _It has been 3 months,_ he told himself again, _if he wanted to say something he would have._ This whole issue has taken a turn on him; his grades, his performances, even on his friends. After all, he still refused to admit to Stephen his true feelings. Not that he could word it for him anyway, he couldn't even describe it even if staring at just a paper and pen. Something that you can't simply just come up with.

He looked at his phone again. No one else but him knew that he still waits and he still calls Steve every night before he sleeps. It sometimes ring, some days it goes straight to voicemail. You would think Bucky would've given up by now. But it's Steve. His first love, his best friend, the only one he sees in his future. He knew Steve would never give up either. Or so he thought.

Bucky hesitantly clicked on the Photos app, clicking on the folder labeled "Us in 2015". Referencing to the year they started. There lays pictures of Steve and Bucky from when they started. Happiness. Crinkles on the corner of both their eyes staring at each other. Bucky remembers that day, he remembers it because Stephen took it and it was fake, at least at first. Steve just wanted to take a picture of Bucky, and he said fake a laugh until you turn it into a real laugh and Steve would take the picture. It didn't worked alone, so Stephen thought he'll take the picture and Steve and Bucky would look at each other. And there it was. A picture so pure of him and Steve, laughing, naive, carefree.

Bucky wiped a tear that he didn't seem to notice to roll down his cheeks. He smiled. But the tears kept coming as he swiped more at the pictures. Going back and moving towards the rest of the years. Their first New Years, Christmas, Valentines, til their lasts.

He put his phone down, closing his eyes, hoping the tears would stop. Stop coming, stop forming, stop rolling, anything.  _Don't be weak, Buck. This isn't you._

__

His phone vibrated, and without reading the caller, he answered, a weak and soft hey, coming out of his lips, his nose plugged and anyone on the receiver could sense that he was crying.

__

__

The receiver didn't say anything. Bucky swallowed, clearing his throat before saying "hey," the second time. He looked at his phone and realized the call had ended. He put his phone down again. Sleeping for what felt like an eternity.

Next day Bucky woke up, he checked his phone, a missed call from all his friends, including Thor, Scott and even Sam. He raised his eyebrow, checking the messages.

__

His stomach turned when he read the texts. It can't be. He got up the couch, checking the time on his bedside, it read 5am. All the texts were sent from last night. His eyebrows furrowed, dialling the voicemail.

__

It was Stephen simply saying, "Call me when you get this, there's some news that we need to tell you, uh face to face. Thanks."

__

He deleted the message hearing the next voice, "Hey Buck," his stomach sank, "I think Strange left you a voicemail. I-um-we-I'm sorry. I feel like that's where I should start. Text me when you get this." Then silence, Bucky could only make out succumb sobs, a sigh from the phone, "It's Steve by the way, Rogers." A cut off "fuck" ended it, he looked at his hands, trembling. He pressed 4, only to listen to the message again.

__

Bucky sat up, checking his phone logs. When he was crying, well sobbing while answering the call, Steve called him. The one he said hey twice to. The one he answered in the midst of his tears. He stared at his phone for as long as he can remember. The battery went from 100 to 56, by the time it had happened. And then he did something stupid, he dialled his (ex?) boyfriend's number.

__

Hesitating, stomach turning, hands trembling, Bucky managed to put the phone by his ear. Nothing have happened yet, just a couple rings, then nothing. He had assumed it just ended there. He moved the phone away when he heard it. "Buck?"

__

Bucky tried to succumb his tears once more. Hearing Steve's voice again brought him back to that day. The day he woke up, thinking Steve had finally learned how to cook and he surprised him. Teasing, he walked down the stairs, only to find him nowhere to be found. He practically searched the whole place. When he calmed down, he called Steve. No answers. Then his fear. He refused to check the dresser. He wasn't able to open them. If he did he would know Steve left. He would know that Steve left _him_. Bucky slept the whole day. Waking up, he checked Steve's side. He was still not there. He checked his phone, nothing. He called him again, nada.

__

He texted his friends, they encouraged him to check the dresser. He still refused. Until Bruce texted him that Thor said, "Steve left, did he not tell Bucky?" To which Bucky didn't had the answer to. All he thought of was why he bothered telling his friends that he had left, but he never told his boyfriend of five years? Was he ever going to tell him? Would he have ever known if he hadn't asked any of his friends?

__

He got up his bed, opening the dresser, finding nothing but at the same time everything. Every answers to why he hadn't seen him, but at the same time, it wasn't answered. He's still alone, looking, wondering. What had gone wrong in their relationship that Steve would leave Bucky. The one he had said he loved so much, the one he said he would marry, the only man he saw in his future. Now he's not in the apartment, he's not in his future.

__

Until today.

__

He sat on his bed, staring at the dresser still, not making any moves, or noise.

__

He can still feel Steve on the other line, breathing lightly that you could hear if you only paid attention to that sound. Hearing his voice was all he needed. For conclusion, maybe. But, at the same time he didn't want it to end. He refused to say anything, because if he say something then it leads to a talk and once a talk is held, then, there's no more left.

__

"Bucky, are you there?"

__

Bucky nodded, dumbly of course, Steve couldn't see him. He pursed his lips before whispering, "How are you?"

__

After all these days, weeks, and months of fatigue and tears, that was the only thing to ever come out of him. Even after he had been broken, and wanting an explanation, all Bucky still cared about was Steve and his being. Because that's love. Bucky loves Steve, and he had hoped Steve did too.

__

"Not good," Steve answered, letting out a painful chuckle, his nose being plugged. Bucky held the phone tightly but still with vulnerability, wanting to pretend that by holding the phone, maybe Steve would feel like Bucky was holding him, or maybe it was Bucky's way of coping that he'd probably never hold him again. "Things have been rough."

__

"No shit," Bucky commented, returning a painful laugh, "Are you coming home?"

__

What used to be comfortable for the both of them now just held painful seconds.

__

"No," Steve answered, "I'm not."

__

Bucky accepted his answer, or at least tried to. He decided to not say anything back. If he had said something, he probably would've screamed at him, worse, actually argue with him. He doesn't want to argue with Steve. It would kill him to even hear or say anything they didn't mean just because of the heat of the moment.

__

"Listen Buck, I need to talk to you."

__

"Three months too late, pal."

__

"Buck-"

__

"Stop calling me Buck, Steve." Bucky stopped. He hasn't called Steve by his real name for five years. Always Stevie, Rogers, anything but never Steve. "It's James."

__

"Don't do this."

__

"You can't ask me not to do something, when you did something that you know killed me slowly," Bucky blurted. "You left me, Steve. With nothing, no explanations, no texts, no calls, just the stories from your friends saying, 'he's gone, Bucky' as if I would ever be fine with just that.

__

"I cried for days, weeks, and even up until now. I fucked up my life, my friend group isn't the same, fuck I even have a profile picture with my mouth wide open for three weeks and all because you couldn't stay long enough to simply say, 'I can't do this anymore, we need to breakup.'

__

"It would've been painful, yes, but at least I get a closure not some dresser with no clothes, cold side of the bed without your warmth."

__

"If you just hear me out, you can-"

__

"Maybe what?" Bucky interrupted, "Maybe we'll be fine? Maybe I'll forgive you?"

__

__

"Maybe _understand._ "

__

"Understand?" Bucky repeated, "Fucking bullshit.

__

"What I need you to understand is that when you left, I was alone and I was a fucking mess. Now you want to tell me that I have to hear you out for _me_ to understand? Understand what exactly?"

__

Steve didn't say anything. Maybe he couldn't, or maybe he just decided not to. Bucky didn't know nor did he think he cared.

__

_"Talk, Rogers!" Bucky screamed, but a hint of beg outbalanced his voice, "Talk."_

__

"I can't say this without seeing you."

__

"I don't want to see you, Steve," Bucky lied, "I don't want to do anything with you anymore. I don't-"

__

Bucky paused, composing himself. If he says what he's about say, there's no coming back. Steve would be gone from his life. Everything would fall apart. If he says what's on the tip of his tongue, then whatever thing he's still holding on the past four months would be gone. It would be useless. All the tears, all the calls, the late night thoughts, the difficulty sleeping, everything.  Alas, he still said it.

__

"I don't need you anymore."

__

Yet, he didn't mean what he had just said.

__

It was quiet. Not even light breathing, or sobs, there was nothing on the other line. Until, "Sorry for bothering you."

__

And that was the end of it.

__

Bucky put down his phone to stare at his background. Oh, how they were so happy together, he held the phone tight, holding it closer to his heart, tears falling down his face. Screaming, anger,  _broken._

__

__

This was the end of their love story. Sad, he never got the closure he had wanted.

__

Bucky checks his phone again, debating on whether or not he'll still attend his classes for the day. He was emotionally and mentally drained to even focus. He sends Stephen a message, before sitting quietly in his room.

__

It was 8am when Bucky finally got up, heading to his first class. Hoping to not run into anyone he knows, because god knows he won't be able to keep his emotions to himself if anyone had asked how he's feeling.

__


	6. "it's a shame."

Bucky put his fist up, and then down, turning around, see Stephen in the car lock the doors, then turn back around. He's done that the past 5 minutes in front of Sam and Scott's apartment. He would sometimes jog back down to Stephen, asking for something, _anything_ , a mint maybe? Even a "hey, do you have water? No? Let's go get water first." Which Stephen would only threaten to honk his horn.

Bucky walked back again this time, with the surprise of Steve opening the door. The shorter stumbled in place, struggling to find a word to say, until he looked down and saw a bag. No, not a bag, a luggage. Both him and Steve turned their eyes down to see.

"Hey, Bucky."

"I'm here for one reason only," Bucky started, still struggling to keep his cool, "Do you have a glass of water?"

Steve knew that was an ask for an invitation to come in and chat. With Sam behind him, he was the gate for them to open the door wider, finally inviting Bucky in.

"Do you want just water?"

"Anything without your saliva on the mouth."

Scott snorted from the dining room, petting Luis, earning a glare from Sam which only made him shut up for a little bit. Though the two haven't made up, they still kept their banters and casual joking to each other. Maybe it's still awkward, but they're working through it.

Steve and Bucky waited in silence, from time to time would look at each other but immediately look away. For Steve, it was shame. For Bucky, it was pain, maybe fear that their last talk could be worse than the latest.

"Hey Barnes, do you have company?" Sam asked, his eyes glued out the window from their kitchen.

Bucky nodded, "Stephen came to drive me, why?"

"Let him in! It's like -20 degrees out," Scott commented, opening the front door and motioning for Stephen to come in.

Seconds later, they all greeted Stephen with a dark coat, glaring only at Steve. When he walked up to the new guest, he shook his hand firmly, whispering something inaudible to Bucky. Steve only nodded, mumbling a quick thank you, before heading back to his seat. The three going somewhere else far from the ex couple to talk.

Yet, they didn't talk. Fear still clouding the younger's mind of the issue. And Steve waiting for him to speak first. That is until he realized they were waiting for each other.

"I'm sorry."

Though it was quiet, though it was inaudible, though it took Bucky by surprise because his head shot up when he heard Steve, Bucky still smiled. That one smile that made it harder for the both of them to continue. Although there was a smile, it was evident that pain came along with it.

"I know, Steve."

Bucky extended his arm for Steve to notice and hold. Once he does, Bucky started to caress the top of his hand.

"We're not 14 anymore. We aren't the same naive couple who would hide our sexualities because we were gay. Things have changed since the day we told everyone to fuck off from Bruce," the two let out a chuckle. Reminiscing their old memories made them realize how much their relationship has gone. Whether it'd be for the better or worse, they probably wouldn't have changed a thing about their relationship, or how it went down. With that, Bucky's facial expression changed,

"If this isn't our endgame, if this isn't what is set in stone, it's a shame," Bucky nodded to himself, keeping his eyes from looking at Steve, "It's a shame, truly but I would _never_ trade this journey with anyone else but you.

"Once you leave, and if you do come back, maybe it will be us, maybe it won't be, but you have your own journey ahead of you and I don't want to be the burden that you keep thinking of. So, once you're out there, living your life, taking pictures which you love, I hope you wear your heart out in your sleeve, and if you find someone, take the risk. Don't hold yourself back."

"Buck..."

Bucky only shook his head, stopping Steve, finally looking up, tears still holding on, "It's the end of the line, Stevie. I love you, but with so many things going on, is it even worth it?"

The two sat in silence, except for a couple of sobs and sniffs. Then, Steve clasped Bucky's hand tighter.

"Thank you, Bucky."

Bucky nodded. The two got up, sharing a hug, tears already falling down and onto each other's shirt. Bucky eyed the three looking at them and making their way back to talking to each other, which only made him let out a giggle, whispering to Steve what he had saw. Then, they share a laugh one last time.

"Whatever happens," Steve started, still holding Bucky's shoulder, "You will forever be the first man I ever loved."

Bucky refused to say the same back, but a slight nod, and a grin. In his mind, he still thinks Steve would be the only person he'll ever love. Once Steve started packing his items (with the help of Sam), and sat on the passenger seat, finally driving away, Bucky's heart still went with him. Whether he'll come back with it or not, he was willing to take the risk. All because he believed in Steve.


	7. "i love you, end of discussion."

Bruce arrived first at the bonfire. Expected since his morning class ended at 9:30 and Thor isn't really done until 10, sometimes 10:30 if he had to chat with anyone in the class. He doubted Thor would be late though. He never is when it comes to Bruce.

While waiting, he got texts from Loki asking for updates and to not worry about anything, also apologizing about slipping up to Thor. Bruce didn't mind Loki slipping up, he knew Thor was going to find out one way or another. He wished it was through him, but he knew he would've been too much of a coward to say it.

Being there reminded him of the first day, back when him and Thor weren't too preoccupied with university, football or that science club Bruce recently joined.

He smiled fondly looking at the beanbags, thinking back on how he was freaking out, saying "Thor, I swear if we're intruding some dorm, I will break up with you." To which Thor would only laugh fondly, reassuring that it was the university and the beanbags were for students to sleep at during breaks. With that, Bruce always found himself sleeping before some of his classes when he finished a lab due, or if he just felt like it. Sometimes that's how he and Thor would spend time. Dating in university took a toll on their time, but just to hang out even just to sleep was enough for the two of them. Bruce was angry at himself that he didn't think of that when he decided to take a break until he gained confidence again to tell Thor what went down with his father.

Once Bruce finally sat down near the fire, he found himself smiling once more. An image of Thor singing "Kumbaya, my Lord" loudly, proving to Bruce that university students couldn't care less what you do because they're too busy stressing over their studies. The two would laugh at each other, _with_ each other. Something so genuine and simple, fondly and beautiful. That's what their love was, and that's when Bruce finally realized.

Thor, with his backpack hanging from one shoulder waved at Bruce once he arrived, walking from the beanbags area.

Watching him walk, the same sheepish and awkward Thor that would feel shy whenever Nana was around, was the same confident gay that flirted with Bruce while he was on Asgard, the night he came out and admitted he had been flirting with him. At that time, Bruce realized the reason he started dating him in the first place. Why he had been in love with him for 10 years prior to them dating. And it wasn't Odin nor would it be Odin's words that could break them up.

Once standing just a feet apart, Bruce didn't waste no time to just hug Thor. How he had missed his scent, his soft chuckle that Bruce could sense the vibration to, the small ruffling of his hair whenever they hug since the height difference was very evident, the signature kiss on the forehead.

"Missed me that much, Banner?" Thor teased, to which Bruce only hit his chest, wiping his nose.

Settling down near the fire, the two never let go of each other's hands, a soft 'I'm sorry' coming out of Bruce's lips.

Thor shushed Bruce, running his hand through the younger's hair, "I should be the one apologizing for Odin. I'm sorry I let him talk shit to you, I should've been there to-"

"Stop apologizing for others, Thor," Bruce interrupted, getting up from the cuddle and breaking their hands apart, "None of this is your fault, I was too clouded by the idea of your father judging me I forgot why I started dating you in the first place."

"And that is?" Thor smirked.

"I love you," Bruce mumbled, "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"God, you're so cheesy, Banner," Thor teased.

"Yeah well, I got it from dating you for almost two years."

Thor reached out to grab Bruce's hand back, laughing at what Bruce had just said, "and more."

Bruce agreed, "and more."

"Promise me we won't be running away from our problems now."

Bruce nodded, "I promise and I'm sorry for being a coward."

"Hey, this is not an invite to say that!" Thor pouted, "I know he could be scary and I know that you know how much I value my father, so don't you dare say you were being a coward because you sacrificed something so big just to not hurt me."

"Which is selfish-"

"-With a good intent."

"And I broke your heart-"

"-A small price to pay."

"Thor, I was a coward-"

"Bruce, I love you, end of discussion."

Bruce paused, and then beamed, "God, you're a dork."

"Well using your own words, "I got it from dating you for almost two years.""

"Eh," Bruce puckered his lips, "You were a dork before we started dating."

Thor opened his mouth but quickly closed it accepting defeat, "Point, but got more dork when I'm with you."

"Well, I love when you're a dork."

"I love you."

"You said that already."

"So? Can't I say I love you again?"

You can," Bruce smiled, finally giving Thor a peck.

And that's how they spent their afternoon. Just sitting on the couch, Thor's head now resting on Bruce's lap as he continued reading an article for his political science class and Bruce reading his textbook from his laptop resting on the couch's arm.

One by one, their friends started coming in. A smiling Bucky, dragging an over the moon Stephen, Loki trailing behind, done with the world and Bucky's enthusiasm, but secretly loves seeing him happy after all the past few months. Sam and Scott, still awkward sitting beside each other, finally getting to know Valkyrie and Carol. Angie and Peggy sitting just beside Thor and Bruce, mirroring their position, Peggy and Thor exchanging stories about their major's classes. Maybe that was enough for Bruce. No, erase that. It was more than enough, he was satisfied with the image.


	8. "just give me a kiss, you fool."

Sam slowly turned the knob, hoping that Scott was ready for bed and they could just knock out immediately to avoid the confrontation. Yet, once he opened the door, Scott was sitting up, his laptop open and scrolling through probably his homework.

 

He closed his laptop once Sam closed the door, allowing Sam to sit beside him. 

 

"I already fluffed your pillow," Scott mentioned but didn't had the courage to add "I always do every night I'm here hoping you'd sleep beside me."

 

"Thanks," Sam mumbled. The bed sunk beside Scott from Sam's weight, so he didn't bother looking if the older had sat down. 

 

Minutes of silence passed by, neither said a word nor moved. They weren't on their phones, or reading a book or on their laptop, just staring plain ahead. Soft music playing from Scott's phone that was already playing when Sam entered was the only sound coming from the room, also a clock on Sam's bedside.

 

"Listen-" they both said, finally, and smiled sheepishly when they looked at each other.

 

"Go ahead."

 

"No, you go first, the youngest always."

 

Scott took a deep breath, looking at Sam, thinking of how to word what he wanted to say. 

 

"I love you," Sam interrupted. Scott's mouth still opened from struggling to say anything but when he heard those words, his mouth fell even wider. 

 

"Sam..."

 

"And I regretted not saying I love you in real life first rather than in text and I worded it so wrong and I was too much of a dumbass to admit I love you because I thought-"

 

"I love you, too," Scott interrupted, screaming over Sam's rambles.

 

"You what?"

 

Scott smiled, "This is the first I've seen you flustered and rambling."

 

"Oh shut up."

 

Scott played with his fingers, thinking of ways to finally break the silence again, "When Thor explained what he felt with Bruce, the way he explained how much he had meant to him, it was the exact moment I knew I wanted to fix us, because just like him and Bruce, I can't see anyone else with me than you."

 

"Scott..."

 

"Guess what I'm trying to say is I'm willing to try again, to finally act more mature. For Luis, for us, if you're willing too."

 

Sam didn't say anything but a simple hug, Scott snuggled onto his neck, giggling softly, "Glad you said that because I would've cried for years if you hadn't."

 

"I already said I love you," Scott laughed, "Also that's something I would say."

 

"First of all that wasn't enough jackass," Sam complained, pushing Scott slightly, still holding on to his hand, "Second, they do say you become like your partner, the longer you stay together right?"

 

Scott only grinned, "I love you."

 

"I love you, too, Tictac."

 

The younger groaned at his nickname, "You know, you really should stop calling me Tictac considering," he eyed down, and smirked.

 

"Shut the hell up," Sam whined, hitting Scott with a pillow. 

 

Scott let out a soft 'ow', laughing with Sam and suddenly everything felt perfect. Like even though it wasn't, them joking and being together in one bed made them feel better, and maybe so good that they both would consider it perfect.

 

"Also lame excuse for Luis being on the couch because," Scott stopped pointing at Luis sleeping peacefully on his bed, "He's chilling."

 

"I thought he was in the kitchen's bed!"

 

"You dumbass."

 

"Your dumbass."

 

"No, you are."

 

"That's not what I meant-"

 

Scott only laughed, "God you are a dumbass."

 

"Coming from you," Sam teased, holding Scott's hand, then he looked up. Scott was looking directly at him, a simple smile on his lips, genuine and satisfactory, calm and tender, and right there, Sam fell in love even more. How can he stop? Scott, just sitting there, looking as soft as ever, loving him, there was nothing Sam would trade it for.

 

"Are we just going to stare at each other or..?"

 

"Ugh, just give me a kiss, you fool."


End file.
